Narcissism & Child Custody: How to Deal with a Narcissistic Parent in Chicago
Coparenting with someone who is more interested in themselves than in the welfare of your child can be incredibly challenging. Left unchallenged, narcissistic parenting can lead to your child developing low self-esteem, trust issues, and difficulty in forming healthy relationships. Fortunately, there are effective strategies that you can use to deal with a narcissistic parent. Continue reading to learn these strategies.
What Is Narcissism?
While the term “narcissism” is thrown around casually, it is actually a mental health disorder.
According to Psychology Today, it is characterized by the following:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A lack of empathy for others
- A need for excessive administration
- A belief that they are unique and deserving of special treatment
Recognizing these traits can help you tailor your co-parenting strategy to your specific challenges.
Why Co-Parenting Is Difficult with a Narcissistic Parent
Because narcissists make situations about themselves, they may engage in difficult or destructive behaviors that can affect your child custody case and relationship, such as:
- Using your child as a pawn: The parent may use your child as a way to hurt you. They could try to bribe the child or say negative things about you to adversely affect your relationship with your child.
- Manipulating you or your child: Narcissists are great manipulators. They may employ manipulation strategies, such as guilt-tripping, pitting siblings against each other, creating competitive environments, or making your child feel responsible for their emotions.
- Attempting to exert emotional control: The parent may try to manage the situation using guilt, fear, or a sense of duty.
- Gaslighting: The parent may deny the child’s or your reality or try to make you second-guess yourself.
- Ignoring needs: Narcissists are commonly more concerned about their own needs than their child’s, which can lead to neglecting the child’s physical and emotional needs.
- Manipulating evidence: Some narcissists go so far as to try to manipulate evidence in child custody cases. They may try to exaggerate claims, fabricate claims of abuse, exaggerate how involved they are in their child’s life, or paint a false narrative about you.
- Lying to the court: Narcissists may even lie to the court to try to affect the court’s decision.
In some situations, narcissistic behavior can cross the line into abuse, and justifying that abuse because they believe they were disrespected.
Tips to Coparent with a Narcissistic Parent
Here are some tips to co-parent with a narcissistic parent in a healthy way:
- Create a parenting plan: It’s best if the information is in black and white, so that the narcissistic parent cannot claim confusion about the facts. Be as detailed as possible, including times, locations, and dates for drop-off and pick-up arrangements.
- Set boundaries: Do not allow the narcissistic parent to walk all over you. While some flexibility is good, don’t let the parent get away with too much—narcissists like to control the situation.
- Limit communication: Some narcissists might try to exhibit control by over-communicating, so resist the bait. Stick to written communication, if possible, to maintain a record in case you need it in court.
- Recognize their limitations: Try not to take every action personally. What they say and do is more about them than about you or your child.
- Don’t argue: Avoid getting involved in arguments with the narcissist. Stick to the facts and the plan.
Most importantly, put your child first. You’re already dealing with someone who might not be capable of doing that, so keep the focus on what is best for your child.
Contact the Chicago Child Custody Lawyers at KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys for Help Today
If you are concerned about your child’s welfare when with their narcissistic parent, reach out to KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys for legal assistance. We can review your situation, explain your legal options, and fight for your child’s best interests. Call us today for a confidential case review with a Chicago child custody attorney.
KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys Chicago Office
166 W Washington St suite 400, Chicago, IL 60602, United States
(312) 702-0068