Divorcing a Narcissist: Tips, Tools, and What To Expect
Divorce is never easy under the best of circumstances, but divorcing a narcissist can be even more difficult. Experts estimate that up to 5% of the U.S. population may have narcissistic personality disorder. That’s around one out of every 20 people.
The personality traits of a narcissist can make all types of communication a challenge, and conflict may bring out the worst in the person. If you are contemplating divorcing a narcissistic husband or wife, these tips will help you get through the experience with your sanity intact.
What To Expect From a Narcissist During Divorce
According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissists tend to take advantage of others and believe they deserve special treatment. These are only two of several personality traits that can make it difficult to negotiate with them.
They Don’t Care About Emotional Losses
Narcissists suffer from impaired empathy, which, in the case of divorce, may mean they disregard the feelings of others, including their spouse and children.
When you divorce a narcissist, don’t expect them to consider the needs of your children or maintain any lingering concern for your well-being. They are likely to view divorce as a competition they will do anything to “win.”
Winning Is Never Enough
Throughout the stages of divorcing a narcissist, you will see that agreeing to their terms isn’t enough to satisfy them. A narcissist wants to know they’ve bested you. A symbolic trophy, such as court papers or a formal apology for some wrong they imagine you’ve done, may be expected.
Be Prepared For Delays
Divorce proceedings can already take a long time. A narcissist may enjoy the sense of control that comes with purposely delaying the process. Expect them to file motions and requests that obstruct progress. Wasting as much time, energy, and money as possible is part of their strategy.
How To Divorce a Narcissist and Survive
Narcissists can do a great job of fooling others. Your spouse may appear well-spoken and calm to others, but throughout the stages of divorce, their real personality will be revealed. The first step in divorcing a narcissist is to select an attorney who has experience dealing with difficult spouses.
Let your attorney know about your spouse’s patterns and personality traits. Read the law firm’s testimonials to see what other clients have said about them. Work with your divorce lawyer to develop a strategy that prevents the narcissist from derailing the process.
Keep Meticulous Records
A narcissist is likely to lie to keep their victim status and paint you as the bad guy. Gather all the evidence you can, including things like texts, emails, and signed documents. Avoid getting emotionally pulled into “he said, she said” conversations. Instead, use documentation to discredit the narcissist’s lies.
It’s best to have your attorney do the communicating for you to avoid these types of issues.
The Narcissist and Divorce: You Can Overcome Both
Divorcing a narcissist may take a toll on your mental health. Consider finding a therapist who can provide the support you need. An experienced mental health professional can help you learn to set boundaries and protect your well-being during the stress of a divorce.
When you know what to expect, the process is easier. Remember that a narcissist won’t be swayed by the love you’ve shared in the past or the needs of your children. Stay organized, including keeping records of anything that could be relevant to your divorce case. And make sure you hire an attorney who understands what you’re up against.
Contact the Chicago Family Lawyers at KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys To Get Legal Assistance Today
To learn more and get the help you deserve, call our divorce lawyers or reach out to KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys online by visiting our contact us page.
We serve Cook County and surrounding areas in Illinois. You can also visit our offices in Chicago. We are conveniently located in:
KHK Family Law & Divorce Attorneys Chicago Office
166 W Washington St suite 400, Chicago, IL 60602, United States
(312) 702-0068